Thursday, 19 April 2012

USA! USA! USA! - Audio Antihero in Miami: Part.4



Audio Antihero Records is run by me, a mentally damaged un-young man (quarter century and 16 days old!) who's pretty fanatical (by a hipster standard) about the gorgeous world of Professional Wrestling. My trip to Miami, Yanksville coincided with 'Wrestlemania Weekend' (quite by accident, I wouldn't claim an American girlfriend, quit my horrible job in music distribution and take a 90 day visa purely for that...right?)

So anyway, I took on three wrestling events on that week. I saw some truly horrible wrestlers that I used to watch as a kid, got an autograph and photo with my favourite of all time (the underrated Stevie Richards) and savaged my throat shouting 'CENA SUCKS' (because the oral habits of John Cena fascinate us macho wrestling men). My girlfriend is breaking up with me (I assume).

I know it's kind of lame. But so is most electronic music..."Indie Credit Won't Last Forever" - Nosferatu D2.

Show 1: NWA Ringwarriors, Ft Lauderdale.

These are my people. It looked like a school assembly hall. I had to face a flag and stand for the national anthem before the opening bell. Horrible.

(I felt pretty low at this moment)

Meeting my idol...Stevie Richards! I totally embarrassed myself though as I cannot speak to people I like. I'm always like 'I CAN'T TELL HIM HOW MUCH I LIKE THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE BORED OF HEARING THAT SO I'LL JUST STAND HERE AND SMIRK AND SWEAT WHILE THEY TRY VERY HARD TO ACCOMMODATE ME AND MY IDIOCY.' - I had a dream afterwards that I had more interesting things to say to him. I am pathetic.

(Richards fears Antihero)

Stevie was F'N boss. I was beginning to get over having to stand for the national anthem by his match. Sadly he was followed by a fake vampire and a man who calls himself Mr Ass.
(This move got reversed but you can't tell here)

I miss seeing The Original King of Swing, Dancin' Stevie Richards lose to lesser men on national television week after week...Wrestling is a cruel mistress.

Show 2: RING OF HONOR: Showdown in the Sun, Ft Lauderdale.

Event of the week, hands down. These guys are crazy. If you don't like Wrestling...I'd still suggest seeing's like watching muscle men running across tight ropes and doing acrobatics with chairs.

I got to see another of my teenhood favourites tonight (who I'd seen 12 years previously when I was but a boy)...LANCE STORM.

(Girlfriend 'forgot' her good camera)

This is a bit better. They didn't actually make out.
(I stole this picture from wikipedia, pretend not to notice)

Show 3: The big one...WRESTLEMANIA.

The estranged Mrs Antihero and I awaiting the action.

(I'm wearing my brandznew b.W.o t-shirt as signed by Big Stevie Cool, grown men wept when they saw it)

Miami is the most garish of the all cities.

(Apparently my opinion on palm trees makes me sound like Alan Partridge)

World Champion Daniel 'YES!' Bryan vs 'Celtic Warrior' Sheamus: The worst 18 second match I've ever seen. Gutted.

(I literally sulked for the next three boring ass matches)

Zack Ryder...'woo woo woo'

(you know it)

The Undertaker...Goths in the sun.
(Is 'phenom' a real word?)

HELL IN A CELL: For a match with two wrestlers I don't really care about, this was pretty exciting.
(It was a bit smaller than I expected.)

WWE Champion CM Punk: The least obnoxious straight edge-er since Daryl Palumbo.
(Big Pun?)


(CM Punk vs Chris Jericho = I am awesome for being there)

The return of The Most Electricfying Man in Sports Entertainment...THE ROCK (star of 'Doom'...). I know the majority of people reading this (if any?) between the ages of 19-30 will feel this is a big deal.
(He went to same University as my girlfriend. She graduated Cum Laude in Smackdown)

Victorious. I squeaked. MIAMI PRIDE.

(Cena Sucks)

Thanks & Never Say DIY!
Jamie - Audio Antihero: Specialists in Commercial, Critical and Credibility Suicides

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